


Butterfly [DaiSuga]

by bb_riot



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Team Parents Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:48:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28404264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bb_riot/pseuds/bb_riot
Summary: Will you stay by my side.As though it hadn't happen,I'm scared.Butterfly, like a butterflySong by BTSAlbum: The Most Beautiful Moment in Life, Part 2 (花樣年華)All rights reserve to BigHit Entertainment Co. Ltd
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	Butterfly [DaiSuga]

_Will you stay by my side?_

I stayed beside Suga as he was crying. Life hasn't been treating him well and I wish I could share his pain as well. He's been trying ways to end it all and it breaks my heart to witness all the attempts he made. Therapy isn't helping at all, it's making him worse. I want him to be okay.

_Will you promise me?_

He harmed himself again last night. I woke up to an empty bed, meeting him in the bathroom crying with burn marks and cuts. I hugged and cried along with him. He calmed down as I whisper comfort into his ears, rubbing his back to soothe him as he whimpers in pain. I carry him back to bed, taking the first aid kit with me. I sat on bed while I placed him on my lap. I treated his cuts and burn marks while he silently cries tears of pain. I looked at him and kissed him on his forehead, gently wiping his tears using my thumb. He leaned forward, asking for warmth and comfort and I open my arms letting him rest his head on the crook of my neck. 

He let's out more pained tears and chokes on his unstable sobs, and every single sob shatter the pieces of my heart. I let him cry, giving him the time to let out his killing pain while I comfort him, rubbing his back and pat his head. It seems like hours till he calmed down, but I don't care as he needs the time to settle himself down. I peppered him with soft kisses and give him a smile to reassure that I'm by his side.

I gently bring his chin up and made eye contact. His eyes shows many emotions, sadness, pain, sorrow, tired, emptiness. I give him a loving peck on the lips and caress his cheek. 

"Will you promise me no matter what happens in life, you'll stay strong for me. Even it's pushing you down and kills you inside. I want you to stay, as I'm your reason to go on. You think your existence isn't important but it is, to me and to everyone around you that cares. I know it's hard for you to love yourself at times but use me and everyone around you to love yourself. We're in this together, alright. Your journey is not alone, I'm walking through with you so as the others. Remember this, I love you and I always do."

He nodded slowly, wiping his tears away. We lay down on bed facing each other, his eyes flutters shut slowly and soon sleep takes over him. I stayed up a few minutes more, looking at him sleeping quietly. I brushed some of his hair strands out of his face to admire his beauty. I could look at him for hours and never get tired of it. I smiled, thinking how lucky I am to be his lover while I kissed his forehead one last time and went to sleep. 

_If I let go of your hand, you'll fly away and break._

_I'm scared of that._

_Will you stop time, if this moment passes._

_As though it hadn't happen, I'm scared I'll lose you._

I thought at least you'll be okay a few days after, eventually it's getting worse for you, for me. I'm losing you every second time goes on. I'm scared that you'll leave me suffering alone. I tried to save you from the dark hole you're in, but it gets darker as I, the light is slowly fading away from you. What do I do?

_Butterfly, like a butterfly._

You're like a butterfly. Beautiful, elegant, graceful and fragile. You bring happiness to anyone that hold you but would simply break if you're not handle with care. And there's me a flower that's no longer colorful in your eyes for you to stay. You flew away from me, leaving me behind in agony. I tried to make you stay, but the efforts are gone just by you letting go of my hand and break furthermore. 

_Just like a butterfly_

A week passed by and you had me worried by not attending school. My anxiety rises as I ran to your place. I took out the spare keys you gave me and entered your house. My heart beats rapidly every second while I'm walking towards your room, I'm scared that I'll found you unconscious. I opened you door and sighed in relief to see you but heartbreaking to see you cry. Every corner was a mess, clothes scattered on the floor along with broken picture frames and torn books while you're in the middle, screaming and pulling your hair. I lunged myself towards you, not caring the glass shards stabbing my feet and pulled you in an warm embrace, calming you down.

I sat down next to you, caressing your face while you peacefully sleep. I felt warm substance dripping down my face. I tried to hold in a sob, not wanting to disturb you sleep. I leaned my head at the headboard of your bed, sighing as I read your note again. Understanding every line meaningfully, before breaking down. You woke up from your slumber, noticing I was crying. With concern you reached out to my face and trembled at the note I was holding. You took the note away from my hands and sat on my lap engulfing me into a hug. You placed my head onto your shoulder as I snaked my arm around your waist and pulled you closer, not wanting to let you go. 

"Don't go, please."

I sobbed out, waiting for a reply from you alas you didn't say anything, making my heart drop even more. Instead you only wrapped your arms around my neck and kissed the top of my head and whispered " I love you."

_It's like a wind that gently strokes me_

_It's like a dust that gently drifts me along_

_You're there but for some reason, I can't reach you, stop_

_You, who's like a dream is a butterfly high to me_

New years countdown is about to start in a few minutes, all of the volleyball team is here except you. Some of them are sad about you not coming and some are worried because they know, new years is one of your favorite celebration of the year and you wouldn't miss it for the world. I tired calling you but it went to your voicemail instead. I tired calling you for the last time before someone snatched my phone away and declined the call. You stood there, smiling softly and hand back my phone. The team happily pulled you into a big hug, telling they missed you and such. For the first time in a while, I heard your laughter. Even if it's soft, it still sounds like music to my ears.

After settling down, the countdown begins. Everyone was talking about their new resolutions, until Suga spoke up. 

"I'm really happy to be with you guys this year, watching our team grow well. I have no regrets in anything and I hope you guys are too. Every each one of you has the strength to make the team grow stronger and I'm really proud of you guys. You all did well. Soon, when the third years or I am no longer here to look after you, I hope you guys could take over the responsibility for us, yeah? Work hard for us. Make us proud." 

The team nodded, wiping some of their tears away before chanting the countdown starting from 10.

9.

8.

7.

6.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

Happy New Year!

The sound of fireworks roared out in the dark sky along with the colorful patterns of the fireworks. In a swift moment, Suga pulled me into a kiss and that kiss felt like it was forever. I put my hand behind his head and deepen the kiss, forgetting the team was with us. We pulled away and heard the team cheering on us. Suga hides his blushing face into the crook of my neck, I chuckled and gave a kiss at his temple. 

We spend the night together, playing and laughing with the team. I could say it was the best night for me to see Suga happy, laughing and talking to us. Even if it's only a word or two. All those fun come to an end since it's really late in the night. We bid our goodbyes and went our way home. I was walking with Suga and Asahi side by side and talked about our juniors and the memories we've made. 

We stopped by at Suga's house before leaving to ours. We did a hug between us before Suga went inside his house. And his last words for the night was "I love you both, goodbye."

I didn't even thought it would end this way. Right after we left, you decided to take your life away. Is this a dream? It couldn't be if I'm right here standing in front of your grave. It's a nightmare instead. Everything inside of me feels numb, I can't even feel the rain droplets hitting the earth I'm stepping on. It's like the universe knows that one of our angels left the earth for a better life. The team went inside to dry themselves off from the rain but I don't feel like moving away from the gravestone in front of me. 

Asahi dragged me inside, helping to dry myself off. The other team captains and teammates gave comforting words to make the aura less depressing but I don't think any of those are working, for me. I can't turn back time to bring you back but I accept the fate.

I hope that you're happy and peaceful now, all of your tired and depressing days has come to an end. Goodnight Koshi, rest well my butterfly. 

_Don't think of anything_

_Don't say anything, not even a word_

_Just give me a smile_

___

_I still can't believe it_

_All of this seems like a dream_

_Don't try to disappear_

_\----_

_**There's no such thing as beautiful goodbyes - [Outro: Tear]** _

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year to all of you!
> 
> Due to different time zones, some area near and in New Zealand, Australia, and some parts of Asia are already in 2021.
> 
> 'New year, new resolutions' or some of us are just staying the same coz "resolutions"? never heard of her. For the ones who had plans and goals on this new year, fuck everyone that's bringing you down and go work on that. If you're lazy, think of the achievements you've would done before it's too late. 
> 
> For everyone that made through the year [2020], I wanted to tell you all that I'm extremely proud of you. Life's been tough for all of us, then the world decided to show it's tantrum for 10-11 months and going on. All the tired days we went through, the sleepless nights, mental breakdowns, panic attacks, anxiety, family problems, online school, work, and all the negative thoughts we have or attempted. 
> 
> I'm reaching this out to all ages and to my She/He/They friends. Live your life to the fullest, even life decided to be a bitch. Enjoy the days while you last, you don't know what would happen to you, or your love ones. Tell them "I love you" even if they ignored you or scold you, give them a hug. If you're not affectionate, make them breakfast or do something that they would like you to do. Don't take things for granted.
> 
> For the ones who can't do all of those things due to your problems at home. Compliment each other in the comments instead. I'm sure you'll feel better as we're all family here.
> 
> Happy birthday to anyone who was born on 31st Dec and 1st Jan! 
> 
> This book was a special gift from me to end the year/ start the year with sadness ahaha. I wrote this to reach out to anyone who has been down and depressed or even worse, ending your life. I'm in the same place as you all are, and am I getting better? Not really. We have a day where we decided to end it and we would be free.
> 
> If you read again the promise Daichi said to Suga, I'm not writing that just for the story but for all of you as it came from the bottom of my heart. (some of the words are inspired by RM - BTS)
> 
> I really care of each and every one of you, I really do. I hope you all are doing well, take care of your well-being. Wear your masks and social distance (beat a Karen's ass if they decided to not wear a mask properly or cough on you.) violence is not encourage by me but if that happens, yes.
> 
> I love you all. Thanks for reading! Bye~
> 
> Mochiriot.


End file.
